How To Start A Gang for when you need a little more family in your life. Yes, gang life is the ultimate symbol of belonging and we are going to help you get on your way to Capone status.
Sometimes, it just feels like good friends are hard to come by. No matter how much time and effort you put into being friends with them, you can never get the same love and commitment in return.
They are always bailing on you last minute, making fun of you behind your back, and not coming to your kazoo recitals because they are too “boring” and “weird” and “not a real instrument”.
Well, as the saying goes:
“When you have a deadly gang at your command, who needs friends!”
When you’re a powerful member of a criminal organization, nobody is going to bail on you or not make it to your kazoo recitals. Through the power of intimidation, all of your new accomplices will stay for the entire 4-hour show.
Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “this all sounds well and good, being the leader of a murderous group of criminals. It could definitely make the weekends a bit more interesting, but where do I even start getting into a gang, let alone being the leader of one.”
Lucky for you, we’re here to help, with these 6 simple steps on how to start a gang.
And when you’re done here, you probably should check out our how-to on starting a prison diary.
How to Start a Gang | The Masterplan
1. Research Which Gang you want to Join
Luckily for you, the options are almost endless. It is like trying to pick which college you want to attend, except instead of going to philosophy class and pretending you are interested in spoken word poetry, you learn how to rob people and sell drugs.
The United States is home to over 30,000 gangs, so making a decision on where to take your talents can be difficult. Think about what you are really looking for in a gang; do you want more of a murder and plunder outfit, or are you a drug dealing with 14-year-olds kind of guy?
Walk into your local gang affiliated buildings and ask for pamphlets containing their mission statement and 5-year plan. They probably will not have any, but it does not hurt to ask.
To make your decision a bit easier, we have compiled a few options of large gangs you could possibly join.
The Bloods and Crips
Two gangs located originally in Los Angeles, California, they are both very violent and at odds with one another. They have done a good job of expanding to different cities in America. Bloods wear the colour red to show they are part of the gang, while Crips wear blue.
It is important to note that you should only apply for one of these gangs, and not both of them, as they do tend to fight quite a bit.
Arguably the most brutal and violent gang in the world, the Cartel is especially popular in South America. They have been heavily featured in both Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, so if you love a bit of pop culture connection, this may be the group for you!
While the Mafia experienced their heyday back in the mid-1900s, they are still a great potential gang to join. They have a strict code of ethics, they all carry Tommy guns, and you get to wear a cool pinstripe suit at all times.
2. Get your foot in the door
After you decide on which gang you would like to join, you need to make yourself available. This means hanging out around where they do their business and acting as if you belong.
One great method is as follows:
Set up a fake mugging with one of your friends, beat him up a little, and make sure those gang members are watching.
It’s a commonly used trick and works like a charm. But don’t take our word for it, as we aren’t available for cross-examination.
You cannot, under any circumstances, allow the gang members to see you rollerblading through the streets in your shortest jean shorts, singing “Party in the USA” at the top of your lungs. Take it from personal experience. This does not help your street cred.
3. Come up with a calling card
Anyone say: “Wet Bandits”?
Or perhaps a horse’s head in the bed.
Whatever your chosen angle, it goes without saying that every good gangster needs a solid calling card. Without one, it will be that bit harder to gain notoriety in a gang. You’ve asked how to start a gang, so maybe you’re thinking, why do I need to impress others? Well, think of it as an apprenticeship right now and plus, it may help your recruitment process later.
One novel angle you might consider is carrying frogs in your pockets and leave them at the scene of the crime. It makes no sense whatsoever and that level of confusion can be utterly terrifying.
Or maybe try something else, it is up to you, but get real flamboyant.
Vincente ‘The Chin’ Gigante – aka the Oddfather, famously wore a bathrobe through the streets on his walk and talks.
As he later admitted, it was to feign insanity and get off of Federal Racketeering charges.
Did it work?
No, he died in prison in 2005. Still, he became the boss of the Genovese Crime Family, so it had its upsides.
4. Rise through the Ranks
If you want to know how to start a gang, you’re going to need some power. Nobody respects the guy grabbing coffees for the more senior gang members on his way to work. You need to grab life by the throat and rise through your gang’s ranks.
People think of gangs as some abstract thing, but they are just like any other job. If you want that raise, you put in the hours. Work weekends, suck up to the boss, and sell more drugs than the next guy.
If you want success, you need to be doing whatever it takes to get it. Ya, that may mean some long nights at the computer, researching how to most effectively “remove” rival gang members while making it look like an accident, but those extra hours will really pay off.
5. Hold on for dear life
Once you start climbing, others are going to notice. Some of them will applaud you, but there is always some natural jealousy when we watch others succeed while we do not. The unique thing about intergang jealousy is it can often end with a shiv in the back.
Metaphorically and literally.
So you need to hold on for dear life. It can be a bumpy ride, full of ups and downs, but the important thing is to remember why you joined in the first place. Friendship, community, and getting fat stacks of cash off the backs of others.
Gang tattoos are a sign of loyalty, commitment and observance. Demand such shows of fealty to ensure everyone is toeing the line.
Perhaps you run the Foie Gras gang, famous for debauchery and the theft of valued foodstuffs. Time for your cohort to demonstrate this bond with a fetching knuckle display.
Knowing how to start a gang is one thing, but knowing how to keep it together is another problem entirely.
6. Have an entrepreneurial spirit
A wise man once said:
“I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.”
Gangs are the exact same. You may have a little more fun as a mid-level member of a gang. The hours are better, there is less stress, and you’re not as likely to be targeted by rival gangs.
But being the boss is its own reward. You get the power and respect you always wanted. You get undivided loyalty and the ability to fire people who are not quite up to snuff. Most of all, you get to be a positive role model for all the young wannabe gangsters out there.
Now, if you can launder sufficient money to open up the next Las Vegas, you’ll have made reading this, how to start a gang guide, excellent use of time.
Well, there you have it. How to start a gang in 6 simple steps.
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