Dating has only gotten harder. Back in the 1950’s, you could throw together some flowers from the side of the road, throw on your best pair of suspenders, and walk up to the girl of your dream’s door. From there, you would hop in your Jalopy and head on down to the soda shop, where a milkshake would be split and love would be felt.
In this how to start a conversation on bumble guide, we are going to talk through 5 things Guys want and 4 things that will end the chat dead.
How to start a Conversation on Bumble Well
Now, you’re in the wild west of dating. With the rise of social media and dating apps, the options are nearly endless. The problem is, how do you know which options you want. People can make up quite the story for themselves online, but maybe their online presence does not come close to matching up with who they are in real life. For instance, that man who works in finance with high profile clients is probably a cashier at McDonald’s.
It’s not the end of the line for him, he could always check out our How-to on starting a food van and go full entrepreneur mode on his Bumble.
Even if you can figure out what is real and what is fake, you know what the real problem with you having endless dating options is? Everyone else has endless dating options as well. There are no more ponds to fish in; the entire world is one big body of water and everyone is trying to fish at the same time.
You can skip all this chat though check out these top dating app book guides for a laugh. These to be fair are the funniest reads we found when researching this how to start a conversation on bumble guide.
So now simple pickup lines do not work, because everyone has heard them. People like to be wowed. They want to chuckle or think how witty your introduction was, not be bored by a simple “Hey!”.
Everyone always focuses on the guys’ first message: how are they going to pick up their potential date, what is going to be seen as funny versus vulgar, do they want to seem interested or a bit standoffish?
The reality is that girls need to know what to say as well. This is not the 1950’s anymore, and girls make the first move just as often as guys.
So how do we start a conversation as a girl? We have it split into 5 simple steps.
5 Steps to Starting A Conversation on Bumble
Step 1 | Buzz in the Hive? Don’t be boring
Like we said, dating takes a lot of creativity nowadays. With thousands of options to choose from, most people are looking for messages that stand out. That means a simple ‘Hi’ usually will not cut it.
So try and think of something funny, or witty, or charming, or cute, or basically any other good adjective you can think of. As long as it is not boring or mean, you stand a good chance of getting your foot in that conversational door.
Step 2 | Get to the Point
What do you want from this? Are you looking for a casual hookup? A friend? A lifelong love with whom you can form children and share many a memory?
These things are good to know (although they can always change), and they are good to let the person you are messaging know as well. If you want a casual hookup and they already have several of your future children’s names picked out, odds are that things are not going to go well.
Of course, this does not mean you need to say these things in your opening message. I think most people will get a little scared if your opening line includes what you want your corsage to look like at your wedding. But, if you do get a reply and get to talking, hinting around what their intentions are may be a good decision.
Step 3 | Start with a Compliment
It seems really simple, but everyone, and we do mean everyone, loves a good compliment. No matter how down on themselves someone is, hearing someone else say something nice about you never fails to make us glow a little more.
These compliments tie into step number 4, as each one needs to be personalized for the person you are talking to. If you compliment someone on their outstanding sheep farm when they live in the inner city and do not even have a dog, things are going to get a little awkward.
A little compliment can go a long way.
Step 4 | Make it Personal
Personalizing your greeting can make all the difference when getting a date. In the modern dating world, lame, cookie-cutter ice breakers are quickly sniffed out and even more quickly ignored.
Let’s use the picture below as an example. The initiator uses their potential date’s name, Sarah, not once but twice in their opening few lines. People love to laugh, and if you can make matches on dating websites laugh or at least acknowledge your creativity, the odds are in your favor.
Step 5 | Make the First Move
Good things come to those that wait… not in this case! If you see someone out there that you are interested in, go and make the first move! Waiting for them to come to you will often lead to nothing happening.
Now…The 4 Worst Ways How to Start a Conversation on Bumble
Bad Move 1 | Start with ‘Heyyyy’
Ugh, the dreaded ‘Heyyyyyy’ with varying amounts of Y’s. Very boring and containing all of the thoughtfulness of a cat accidentally walking across a keyboard.
You might as well start the conversation off with, “Hello good sir, please do not bother replying to this as I contain the personality of a rock and will quickly bore you to death.”
No, adding more Y’s to the end of the word does not make it any better.
Bad Move 2 | Only use 1-Word Replies
This usually comes as an extension of the initial “Heyyyy” to start a conversation. Nothing will kill a conversation quicker than the incredible boredom that comes quickly after receiving 1-word replies to a carefully thought out message.
If you find yourself using an awful lot of 1-word replies, ask yourself one simple question: Are you that boring in real life as well?
Bad Move 3 | Mock and Belittle Them
Although it may be good to get your sociopathic tendencies out in the open, mocking and belittling someone you are interested in is never a good idea.
If your opening line starts off with something along the lines off, “Haha! Hello little fat boy. You are an ugly little fat boy. Nobody will ever love you!” It is probably best if you stay off of social media altogether.
Compliment, do not criticize.
Bad Move 4 | Be Creepy
Do not mention that trip they took to the Bahamas in 2012 with their family that you only found after several hours searching through their Facebook page. Do not mention how you are sorry their dog died in 2014 due to complications with medication in your ice-breaking message. Definitely do not attempt to discuss their anger towards their Great-Aunt Lucille after illegally breaking into the private emails they send to their psychiatrist.
Let someone tell you what they want to tell you. Have a little patience and give it time. Creeping through their entire life is not going to make them like you more. In fact, it is probably going to do the exact opposite.
Now you have the Do’s and Don’t’s of how to start a conversation on Bumble or other dating apps. Get out there and try them out!